I groaned as all the signs I had ignored collided like pieces of Tetris and sank deep into my gut. It was a Saturday afternoon and I was sitting in bed browsing through Bumble. I had been on this supposedly classier version of Tinder for about two weeks.
One user on Reddit posted a photo of the sign with the single-word rejoinder, "Kinda," and the sixty-something comments that followed teased apart the the moral subtleties of dating within or outside of one's own ethnicity or race. Reading through the thread feels like opening a Pandora's Box, the air suddenly alive with questions that are impossible to meaningfully answer. Dating sites and services tailored to race, religion, and ethnicity are not new, of course.
There are many myths and stereotypes when it comes to dating asian guys. Some are completely outlandish and some are, well, a little more spot on. Multiple articles and studies discuss how cultural stereotypes of Asian men may make them less attractive to women of all races, including Asians.
W omen, runs an Indian joke, were the reason the British lost India. Indians managed a working relationship with the men but when the prissy women landed with their flouncy dresses and aversion to the heat, it was time for independence. Asian women in Britain, however, are coping with the heat; that of the rat race and the heart. In love, while the men retreat back "home" to find accommodating brides, a visibly growing number of these women are winning the hearts of white colleagues and friends.
It was somewhat of a non sequitur from the conversation. He proceeded to give me a knowing look before launching into a monologue about his ever-enlightening travel experiences and exes overseas. He grins at me.
My friend scrolls through the photos of a man on Facebook. But in many of his photos, he is accompanied by Asian women. No, not the potentially fatal viral hemorrhagic disease transmitted by infected mosquitoes, but rather a preference for Asian women.
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He hates it when I do this. So do I, really. We live in San Francisco, so this dip is as common as the hills. Shame is neither the wisest nor most mature part of oneself, but it still has a voice.
An Asian fetish is an obsession with or objectification of Asian people, culture, or things of Asian origin by those of non-Asian descent, especially when it is related to stereotyping. It applies to the enthusiasms experienced by some non-Asian people for such things as Asian cinema tattoos made up of Chinese characters  or the adoption of Asian children, especially to the exclusion or diminishment of other cultures. Non-Asian men who predominantly or exclusively date Asian women are referred to as "men with an Asian fetish" by some Asian-American women.